Do you want to have a better job? Do you want to start the project of your dreams? Do you want your relationship to work? Do you want to be happier? Do you want to change your body? Do you want to be yourself? Two experts help you get the best version of yourself in any area of your life.
“Your best version is that point where you shine with your own light, where you feel a great internal balance and where -as the advertisements say- you can also see it from the outside“, says Ainoa Espejo, graphologist and relationship coach at Aihop Coaching. “It’s a very deep, real and constant state, which doesn’t depend on whether the circumstances are in your favor and life smiles at you (although it’s easier that way, of course)“, she adds.
But, as this expert says, your best physical and mental version will not come from being the best in your job or from killing yourself to train at the gym, “your best version is achieved when you feel comfortable with yourself, satisfied, full, calm; because you know yourself well and accept yourself as you are“. And that means learning to enhance your virtues and to control your defects, to manage your emotions and to trust in yourself.
For Espejo it is, above all, a state that you reach when you feel that you are taking care of yourself, that you are prioritizing yourself, when you know you own your life because you take the reins and you feel free, when you make your own decisions (although sometimes you make mistakes) but take your fears and forgive yourself the mistakes. Sounds good, doesn’t it?
Now, the million-dollar question: how do you get it? One of the best tools is precisely Personal Coaching (or Life Coaching) which, as Espejo explains, “will not only help you to set goals and achieve them, but also to increase your self-esteem (both with the process and with the result) and to strengthen that ‘muscle’ of internal confidence“. Because, according to this expert, the objective is that you become stronger and more self-sufficient, that your coach is only the starting trigger!
If you change, change everything
When you change, you usually get to improve your relationships with others, because when you’re at peace with yourself, everything around you is transformed.
“Reaching your best version is a big responsibility“, says Espejo. “Not only for your own benefit, but because by your example you encourage the people around you to want to be as good as you are, to take care of themselves and be happier. And that means that there are more and more balanced people, who relate better to each other. So it’s something that’s good not only for you, but for society as a whole.
Steps to get your best emotional version
If you want to get your best version, the first thing is to want to transcend the moment in which you are, to want to surpass yourself. This requires a certain amount of humility. It’s also good to recognize that with help you get there faster. Asking for the sincere opinion of the people who love us will help us get to know each other better and discover aspects that can be improved (always bearing in mind that it is their opinion, not the absolute truth). You are very brave and very wise when you look inside and you want to improve, without waiting for the outside to change.
Don’t be in a hurry, it’s a long process. Reaching your best version is not a goal that you get one day and the next you can go to sleep … We must strive to maintain it always, because we have the bad habit of falling back into old harmful patterns.
We must learn to love each other unconditionally. That means putting aside perfectionism and the excess of self-demand and knowing that (paradoxically), although we can be improved, we are already perfect as we are.
Observing ourselves in a neutral way (without criticizing ourselves mercilessly) will help us to travel this path of self-improvement without so much suffering.
It is about wanting to be better every day, but printing in our acts an energy of love (it sounds sappy but so it is) Out with punishments, do not give so much cane! Imagine a loving mother teaching her baby to walk – that’s how we should talk to ourselves inside!
It’s good to keep a diary in which we keep writing about how we feel, our progress, the efforts we’re making, the fears and barriers we overcome every day, the failed attempts… It is very motivating to keep track of our evolution and you can do it in many ways: a daily tracker in your Bullet Journal; an app on your mobile phone, write or draw in a notebook, or make a collage every night. Make it fun! So you can value and enjoy your small achievements by detecting things that fail as well; and you can look back from time to time, to be fair to yourself and appreciate how much you have grown.
Steps to get your best physical version
1. What do I want to achieve? What is my objective? Is it something purely aesthetic or do I really want to feel better?
2. What are my weaknesses? What are my strengths? No matter how much running is in fashion, if just thinking about wearing your shoes drops your soul at your feet, look for an exercise that you like and that makes you feel good every time you think about training.
3. Be aware that the only moment we have is this one, just this one. So enjoy it. Start thinking about what you still have to achieve, how badly you’ve been given or simply the guilt you feel for not having trained today… just undermine the mood. Whatever you do, do it with pleasure. You will discover the best version of yourself for sure, you only have to stop and look!